Horrortoberfest Day 19 – Shin Godzilla (2016) (It’s a podcast)
Well, we tried, buit this is in no way a horror movie. It’s an interesting movie. It’s a cool movie. It definitely has a monster in it. But it’s not […]
Category Archives: Movie Mastery
Horrortoberfest Day 5 – The VVitch (2015) (It’s a podcast)
Hey, remember how much good press this movie received? People were all like “Oooh, it’s not found footage” “Oooh it isn’t connected to Joss Whedon!” Well, here it is on […]
In Theaters Now – Bridget Jones’s Baby
A movie with no stakes and no tension. Thrill as Bridget Jones much choose between a handsome, rich man who loves her or a different handsome, rich man that loves […]
Movie Mastery – Dragonfyre (2013)
When orcs begin to invade our world, it’s up to the Poor Man’s Mark Wahlberg to stop them. He will be helped by a Porn Star in Spock Ears, a […]
In Theaters Now – Suicide Squad (2016)
Turns out that once you get us talking about super hero related stuff we just will not shut up for any reason. This one is a super long Movie Mastery […]
Movie Mastery – Speed Racer (2008)
This movie is sincerely lacking in Tim Curry. I know what you’re thinking, which is that most movies are sincerely lacking in Tim Curry, but you feel it a lot […]
In Theaters Now – Ghostbusters (2016)
Find out who was right about this movie. Was it terrible like the angry white men on the internet that refused to see it said or was it good like […]
Movie Mastery – Howard the Duck (1986)
It was 1985, and with two years separating George Lucas from Return of the Jedi, it was a sure bet the world was his oyster, and he could make any […]
Movie Mastery – The Wizard (1989)
Well, we’ve covered two Dungeons and Dragons movies, Mazes and Monsters, and Wizards, so I guess at this point we’re just getting titles that even sort of remind people of […]
In Theatres Now – Warcraft (2016)
More work? Yes, my lords. We watched the Warcraft movie because it’s clearly winning the June In Theaters Now poll. It was a lazy day around here, and something need […]
In Theaters Now – Angry Birds (2016)
Well, it’s certainly in theaters right now. Did you know this is the highest-grossing (in terms of domestic box office) Sean Penn movie? Well, now you do. Take that information […]
Movie Mastery – Screamers (1995)
On a distant planet, some bullshit happens and then nobody pays attention to it anymore because oh holy hell! There are crazy robos attacking and they could be anyone but […]
Movie Mastery – Mazes & Monsters (1982)
Dare ye enter the magical realm of what filmmakers in the early 80s thought RPGs looked like? It’s a terrifying world of whiny yuppie children and blaming mental illness on […]
Movie Mastery – The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Old Mother Hubbard, lived in a cupboard, thrilled that she didn’t own a TV and was at no risk of ever even accidentally seeing any of this depressing, rapey, anti-funny […]
Movie Mastery – Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)
Yes, I know this is the second one. We roll randomly, remember? We’ll get to Caravan of Courage at some point. Today, Movie Mastery covers the best Star Wars movie […]
Movie Mastery: Now Playing – Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
We’ve had it as a stretch goal on the Patreon for a while and since we were getting close, we’ve decided to give you a little taste of what […]
Movie Mastery – A Talking Cat!?!
The second internet famously bad movie we’ve gotten in a row. Only we know something no other reviewer knows. We know the dark secret that surrounds the filming location […]
Movie Mastery – Foodfight!
Celebrity voices and product placement come together with the cheapest animation possible to create a devastating whirlwind, the outcome of which is the shittiest movie imaginable. Prepare to be […]
Movie Mastery – Steel
This is weird, right? Because you had totally forgotten this movie? And now you’re all “Oh yeah, Steel! I didn’t go see that. Looked really bad, and it came out […]
Movie Mastery – Scooby-Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery
It’s genuinely unusual that even when the Scooby of today meets a celebrity, it’s a celebrity from the 70s. Anyway, here’s Scooby-Doo and KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery. Though if […]
System Mastery 