Old Mother Hubbard, lived in a cupboard, thrilled that she didn’t own a TV and was at no risk of ever even accidentally seeing any of this depressing, rapey, anti-funny ego trip of a movie. It’s The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, the movie designed to make Andrew Dice Clay look good according to the well-honed sensibilities of Andrew Dice Clay. It’s pretty dire.
System Mastery 
Dear Jeff and John,
You left out the part where the adult female koala produces a special kind of faeces, chews it into a porridge and feeds it to it’s young, which promotes the development of the young koalas immune system, somehow. Otherwise everything you said about koalas was right. And yes, this is indeed the move that cocaine wrote.
Thank you for continuing to provide quality material.
Chewing up and regurgitating your own shit so that someone else can consume it is actually a great metaphor for this movie.
On Zuzu Petals; it’s a reference to “It’s A Wonderful Life”, which is so out of place in this garbage movie.
Three things:
1. I think we need something stronger than “rapey” – I suggest “rapetacular”
2. DC Comics published a 4-issue prequel miniseries for this movie. Yes, really.
3. Who the hell would say Columbo is a wimp? He never claimed to be a tough guy!