Movie Mastery – Return to Horror Hotel (2019)
This horror anthology runs the gamut of topics from the subversive quality of platonic male touch to the charming and lovely nature of middle America that we all still seem […]
Category Archives: Movie Mastery
Movie Mastery – Await Further Instructions
Have you ever thought, “You know what? Maybe technology isn’t great and we rely on it too much”? Well then you should watch Black Mirror. Have you already watched all […]
In Theaters Now – IT: Chapter 2
The end of the clown saga is here. With a fairly bloated run time of just under 3 hours; can Chapter 2 capture the magic from the first one? Or […]
Movie Mastery – Mom and Dad Save the World
Imagine if someone with no sense of humor decided they wanted to make a movie like Spaceballs. Now imagine they decided to make it a Jeffrey Jones vehicle. Now imagine […]
In Theaters Now – Dora the Explorer and the Lost City of Gold
In this children’s TV show turned teen adventure movie, the entire thing seems to have been dipped in a layer of magical realism where talking monkeys are simply nonsensical […]
Movie Mastery – Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me
Content Warning: David Lynch kinda went all in on the rape stuff in this movie. It’s just one more bit of awful in the sea of garbage that is this […]
In Theaters Now – Crawl
A movie about alligators attacking during a hurricane is actually getting some pretty decent critical reviews. But can a well crafted horror movie penetrate Jef’s tough, scaly hatred for the […]
Movie Mastery – The Scorpion King 5: Book of Souls (2018)
Technically we randomly rolled The Scorpion King as our movie this week. However, after seeing that a Scorpion King 5 existed; we simply needed to know what was going on […]
In Theaters Now – Dark Phoenix
It’s time to review the final installment in the X-Men franchise under Fox. Is it going to be more of the same and end on a real wet fart of […]
Movie Mastery – The Crow (1994)
Were you a little gothy kid in the 90s? Then you don’t need us to tell you about this movie. Or, actually, you probably do because this one gets some […]
In Theaters Now – Pokemon: Detective Pikachu
We went to go see Detective Pikachu after I messed up and only put 3 options on the available poll for the month. Oh well, now you can learn all […]
Movie Mastery – Gravy (2015)
Three cannibals take a small restaurant hostage for their annual Halloween feast. But don’t worry, it’s light hearted and jokey. But don’t worry, it’s also incredibly gory. But don’t worry, […]
In Theaters Now – Avengers: Endgame
It’s an extra long episode about an extra long movie. Over 20 movies in the making and now two idiots from the internet get to nitpick minor quibbles.
Movie Mastery – Spice World (1998)
It’s time to dive into the spicy world of girl power and see if somehow a movie based on and starring a band can in any way be good. Almost […]
Movie Mastery – The Item (1999)
Any time you find a movie that is written, directed by, and starring the same person you know it is either going to be a true masterpiece or a pile […]
In Theaters Now – Captain Marvel
It’s time to go back to the mid 90’s which means it’s right in our wheelhouse. Is this the feminist icon we’ve all been waiting for or have the SJWs […]
Movie Mastery – Hard Ticket to Hawaii
Some sort of agents of some sort of agency run around Hawaii shooting weird thugs and taking their tops off. Come for Jef’s ebullient love of good old fashioned boob […]
In Theaters Now – What Men Want
Barely winning out in the poll for the month, this sequel(?) to an almost 20 year old movie raises a lot of questions. Questions like “Who cares?” and “Why are […]
Movie Mastery – Jupiter Ascending (2015)
With a movie that was universally panned when it came out; will this turn out to be a sleeper of a hit? Or were the critics right and the whole […]
In Theaters Now – Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
You asked for it (like a month ago), you got it! We cover the animated sensation of the year. Nay! The decade! Does this new Spider-Man live up to the […]
