Movie Mastery – Hulk (2003)
Before Ruffalo. Before Norton. After Ferrigno. There was Bana. In the role he was hired to play: A very boring scientist that turns into Shrek and fights his dad who […]
Category Archives: Movie Mastery
Movie Mastery – eXistenZ (1999)
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Total Recall and The Matrix got all Cronenberged up? Here it is but it’s kind of strange you were wondering […]
Movie Mastery – America 3000 (1986)
Neggy more must you wait for us to scan this hot plastic movie. It’s a new tomorrow and we are here to guide all you plugots and frals to a […]
Movie Mastery – Monsturd (2003)
I’ll spare you a description riddled with poop jokes since that’s pretty much all going to happen in the podcast. It’s a low budget horror movie about a poop monster, […]
Movie Mastery – Knights of Badassdom (2013)
You might think that a movie like this is going to cater to our specific interests. The truth is that it is mostly laughing at nerds instead of with […]
Movie Mastery – BMX Bandits (1982)
It’s the 80’s in Australia and there is nothing cooler than riding BMX bikes, stealing shit you find that is obviously someone else’s, and having the worst imaginable hair.
Movie Mastery – Clockstoppers (2002)
Go back in time with us and see the pure distillation of early 2000’s culture into a single movie. This one checks all the boxes of what a movie aimed […]
Movie Mastery – Cool as Ice (1991)
Like most other movies starring a celebrity that isn’t an actor, this is mostly just a vanity project that has no redeeming aspects. Plus, as a romantic(?) comedy(?), the main […]
Movie Mastery – Descendants (2015)
Over a year ago I was at a Baskin-Robbins with Jef when I saw a cake theme in their book of birthday cake options that was apparently themed around Disney […]
Movie Mastery – Bee Movie (2007) But This Time it’s an Actual Review and Not an April Fool’s Joke
Barry B. Benson is no ordinary bee. He’s a shitty bee you immediately hate. Let’s follow along with his entitled crusade to become a lawyer and sue for all the […]
Movie Mastery – Bee Movie (2007) but Every Time We Say Bee the Review Goes Faster
Barry B. Benson is no ordinary bee. He’s a shitty bee you immediately hate. Let’s follow along with his entitled crusade to become a lawyer and sue for all the […]
Movie Mastery – Captain America (1979)
Since we were supposed to go see a superhero movie in the theaters this week but couldn’t because of global pandemic, we decided to finally sit down and watch Reb […]
Movie Mastery – Shock Treatment (1981)
The black hole of shitty musicals has yet to release us from its gravity well and has instead dragged special guest Claire down into the muck with us. This is […]
In Theaters Now – Sonic the Hedgehog
After a much-hated initial design, Sonic is back with a less horror inducing look and a strange obsession with preaching the inherent superiority of “small town ideals”. Also, I guess […]
Movie Mastery – Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
It’s the musical movie with a cult following that I can only assume likes it ironically. I literally cannot fathom why anyone would choose to watch this more than once.
In Theaters Now – Cats
You did it. You made us go see Cats. I hope you’re proud of yourselves. Now reality has lost all meaning and Jon can’t seem to stop introducing himself as […]
Movie Mastery – Winter’s Tale (2014)
What if stars are miracles left by people when they die and we wish on the love of those who have gone before with heaven’s wishing love miracle? What if […]
Movie Mastery – Fred Claus (2007)
Jef has been allowed to take over the movie decisions for the month and has decided it’s “A Very Vince Vaughn Christmas”. First up we find out out Santa’s deadbeat […]
In Theaters Now – Doctor Sleep
In a surprising twist, this sequel to a novel/movie that is 30 years old isn’t just some random garbage thrown together for a cash grab. But is it good? You’ll […]
Movie Mastery – Future Cops (1993)
When the past needs saving, you call the Future Cops! They’re…well, they’re just Street Fighter guys with a flair for the slapstick. This still might be a better Street Fighter […]
