Movie Mastery – Snakes on a Plane (2006)
We aren’t reviewing Morbius (yet) but how about another movie that decided to try to lean into the memes and then didn’t make any money because it turns out memes […]
Category Archives: Movie Mastery
Movie Mastery – Initial D (2005)
When you adapt a manga or anime into live action, only good things can happen. And what could be more exciting than watching someone drive the exact same route 7 […]
Movie Mastery – Karate Dog (2004)
In the vein of A Talking Cat, a celebrity really phones it in while voicing an animal but this movie had the budget to also badly CGI the animal doing […]
Movie Mastery – Space Truckers (1996)
Follow the thrilling escapades of John Canyon as he coerces a girl to marry him for a ride and then be chilled by the worst thing that poor Charles Dance […]
Movie Mastery – The FP (2011)
In the near future, two rival gangs fight for control of Frasier Park, CA by playing a knock-off version of Dance Dance Revolution but mostly just say the N-word a […]
Movie Mastery – Megamind (2010)
One of the few actually decent DreamWorks animated films but it still can’t escape the dreaded “all the characters dance” ending.
Movie Mastery – Dirty Love (2005)
In what I can only describe as one of the worst movies that we have ever seen; Jenny McCarthy takes some time off from spreading misinformation about vaccines to write […]
Movie Mastery – Croczilla (2012)
Thrill as a very large but not kaiju-sized crocodile harmlessly wanders around the Chinese countryside causing some mild panic and light property damage.
Movie Mastery – The Toxic Avenger (1984)
An earnestly fun, low budget comedy with high gore and nudity content that would honestly have aged pretty well if it weren’t for all the racial slurs and homophobia.
Movie Mastery – Megaforce (1982)
When you need a problem solved and nobody else can get it done, you call the legally distinct from G.I. Joe men at Megaforce.
Movie Mastery – The Lawnmower Man (1992)
A movie that took the name of a Stephen King short story but has absolutely nothing in common with it and yet somehow still manages to be an extremely Stephen […]
Movie Mastery – Renaissance Man (1994)
The classic “how do I reach these kids” teacher movie with a military twist and you better believe that there’s a scene where these army teens drop a sick Hamlet […]
Movie Mastery – Freddie as F.R.O.7. (1992)
Special guest James D’Amato joins us in a review of Britain’s extremely cursed foray into the world of animated movies. A film with a plot so absurd that there is […]
Movie Mastery – A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
Whoever it was that decided this should be on our list both understands exactly what this show is about and also is a terrible person. Hitting some surprising new lows […]
Movie Mastery – Duel (1971)
Ok but the movie poster claims “the most bizarre murder weapon ever used” and that’s just not even remotely true. Killing someone with a truck is real fuckin basic. You […]
Movie Mastery – 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)
The 4th and final installment of the 3 Ninjas series goes out on a “what?” as Hulk Hogan helps some kids fight terrorists that are also ninjas that have taken […]
Movie Mastery – Deadly Prey (1987)
A group of mercenaries accidentally kidnap the worlds most killingest badass for their murder training and he picks them off one by one using nothing but a knife, his wits, […]
Movie Mastery – Goosebumps (2015)
You remember those horror books aimed at kids that were super popular in the early-mid 90’s? Well, they definitely cashed in on that in a timely fashion with this movie […]
Movie Mastery – Sleepaway Camp (1983)
It’s still queer horror week for this Horrortoberfest and, unfortunately, this one is the dark side of the offerings given how this movie views gay and trans people. I will […]
Movie Mastery – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
In a pulp fiction alternate 1939, nefarious plans are afoot and only the dashing Sky Captain can put an end to this world ending threat. Also, everything looks like it’s […]
System Mastery 