Movie Mastery – Mazes & Monsters (1982)
Dare ye enter the magical realm of what filmmakers in the early 80s thought RPGs looked like? It’s a terrifying world of whiny yuppie children and blaming mental illness on […]
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Movie Mastery – The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Old Mother Hubbard, lived in a cupboard, thrilled that she didn’t own a TV and was at no risk of ever even accidentally seeing any of this depressing, rapey, anti-funny […]
Movie Mastery – Mommie Dearest (1981)
An old friend drops by the show to help us review a movie she made us watch in the first place. Claire joins us for Mommie Dearest, a bizarre, slowly-paced […]
Movie Mastery – Santa with Muscles (1996)
Oh boy, it’s Hulk Hogan! According to that poster, we know he goes sleeveless, doesn’t like buttoning up, and gives some very harmless looking dudes the business. I mean, look […]
Movie Mastery – The Star Wars Holiday Special
So this thing is internet famous as a bizarre travesty against Star Wars right? Kind of like a Jar-Jar 1978. What the internet won’t normally tell you about the holiday […]
Movie Mastery – Mechanical Violator Hakaider
Never let it be said we won’t watch some insane random thing out of some vestigial sense of self preservation. Here, we sit down together to watch a tokusatsu […]
Movie Mastery – Big Money Rustlas
Twenty years from now college professors will use this episode as a teachable moment. It’d be nice if it was about how to properly review films, but actually it’ll just […]
Movie Mastery – Wing Commander
Wing Commander is a film we watched. It was filmed in Luxembourg. Luxembourg is the last remaining Grand Duchy in the world, and is the country where popular internet communication […]
Movie Mastery – D&D: Wrath of the Dragon God
It’s our second anniversary and we’re making it D&D Sequel Week, so here’s a horrible D&D sequel, Wrath of the Dragon God. Have you ever wondered what would happen if […]
Movie Mastery – The Day After
Are you sufficiently frightened of nuclear attack? This TV movie dares ask the question “How will global thermonuclear war affect a young Steve Guttenberg?” Now fill your family condom with […]
Movie Mastery – Wizards
Is this really a movie about a fat little wizard and his nearly-nude fairy companion trying to defeat a Nazi wizard leading an army of mutants against an army of […]
Movie Mastery – Zardoz
While our initial plan for Mommie Dearest fell through this week, we press on undaunted, reroll the Movie Mastery Dice (currently a D17) and land on Zardoz, the movie where […]
Movie Mastery – Master of Disguise
It’s that Dana Carvey vehicle! Here, I’ll sum up exactly how you remember it: “Turtle, turtle.” Boy, don’t you want to know exactly what sort of package that famous catchphrase […]
Movie Mastery – Left Behind (2014)
What, it was a lazy Thursday afternoon! System Mastery has already reviewed a few other movies. Dungeons and Dragons, a weird Carrie sequel, whatever the heck Frankenqueen was, and so […]
Monday Movie Review – Dark Dungeons (2014)
Based on the Chick Tract of the same name, I can even tell you how much I looked forward to this when I first heard about it. I love pretty […]
