In Theaters Now – Baywatch
Normally seeing that The Rock is in a movie is an assurance that it will at least be somewhat charming, if nothing else. The greatest sin of this movie isn’t […]
Tag Archives: movie review
Movie Mastery – Tiptoes (2004)
Yes, ok, Gary Oldman has great range and can do many characters. That said, making him walk around on his knees and pretend to be a little person is […]
Movie Mastery – Fateful Findings (2013)
Take a journey into the fever dream of Neil Breen. Where no plot point is too stupid to be included and no detail is too interesting to suddenly ignore entirely. […]
In Theaters Now – Fate of the Furious
Yet more Vin Diesel action in this movie that is a culmination of what the series has done so far. Which is drive fast, blow stuff up, and have some […]
Movie Mastery – Laser Mission (1989)
Time to delve into the mysterious world of espionage carried out by incompetent, non-government agents-for-hire. Can Michael get the diamond before the super weapon is built? Can nepotism overcome how […]
Movie Mastery – Power Rangers (2017)
Come fellows, it is the time of morphing! That’s what they always said, right? I’m not a 90s kid or whatever you needed to be to care about this.
Movie Mastery – Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
This movie is the worst. Not mentioned in the review but a running “gag” in the film is his neighbor’s kid keeps getting horribly mangled by things. This managed to […]
In Theaters Now – Fifty Shades Darker
Quick warning on this one: If you don’t want to hear about emotionally abusive relationships or really terrible sex, give this one a pass.
Movie Mastery – Blood Punch (2014)
Think about the concept of Groundhog’s Day but it’s an action thriller movie. Got it? Ok, now instead of the super rad thing you imagined; think of the dullest version […]
In Theaters Now – xXx: Return of Xander Cage
When the world is in peril and all seems lost; there is only one man that the U.S. Government can turn to. Xander Cage and his power of sassy extreme […]
Movie Mastery – Judge Dredd (1995)
A pretty horrible take on the property but it’s still probably better than the first two times they tried to make a Punisher movie. Also, for the mythology nerds out […]
In Theaters Now – Assassin’s Creed
The Assassin’s Creed games are all about the epic struggle between two secret societies in a deadly struggle for the fate of mankind. The Assassin’s Creed movie is all about […]
Movie Mastery – Saving Christmas (2014)
Kirk Cameron takes some time off from his lucrative rap career to let everyone know what the holidays are really all about. Rampant, unbridled consumerism with a thin veneer of […]
In Theaters Now – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Now our review of the latest installment in the Harry Potter world which also ends up being Jef ranting about how much he hates magic in Harry Potter. It’s a […]
Movie Mastery – Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twlight (2008)
It’s Dungeon’s and Dragons but now it’s in cartoon form. No, not that terrible show from the 80’s. It’s the terrible movie from 2008. Be amazed as actual decent voice […]
Movie Mastery – Stealth (2005)
Three sassy, sexy Navy pilots that play by their own rules are tasked with hunting down an experimental jet powered by an AI that goes haywire and now it plays […]
Horrortoberfest Day 31 – Halloween (2007)
As it seems only appropriate to do so, I have finally gotten around to seeing Rob Zombie’s remake of the classic Carpenter film. I don’t hold the same hatred that […]
Horrortoberfest Day 30 – Mine Games (2012)
Sometimes a horror movie has ambition beyond just setting up scares and wants to give a puzzle for the viewer to unravel so they can have that “ah ha” moment. […]
Horrortoberfest Day 29 -Ava’s Possessions (2015)
Even though I grew up Christian, none of the religious horror movies ever really scared me that much. I think Rosemary’s Baby is pretty much the most boring, unintentionally goofy […]
Horrortoberfest Day 28 – The Hallow (2015)
Since I was so up-in-arms over the Leprechaun movie from yesterday, I figured I’d keep on going with another film that’s about people getting murdered for having the temerity to […]
System Mastery 