Time to delve into the mysterious world of espionage carried out by incompetent, non-government agents-for-hire. Can Michael get the diamond before the super weapon is built? Can nepotism overcome how awful this movie is to ensure Brandon Lee keeps getting work? All these questions and more answered here.
System Mastery 
When I was in junior high school, I was a theater nerd. A production of The Martian Chronicles I was involved with (I got to be someone’s secret-Martian brother and shoot someone) got to go to a state festival. It was an overnight in a town a couple of hours from home, which meant a hotel stay.
And in this case, a hotel meant one thing – pay cable.
Some other dudes and myself clustered around a hotel tv. We were psyched at the prospect of late-night R-rated cinema. Would it be an 80s big-budget actioner? A horror film? Or some crappy softcore to make our 13-year-old selves feel super awkward?
It was Laser Mission. And I don’t think I have ever been so disappointed.
And the off-brand Bond with Connery’s brother was the Italian knockoff Operation Double 007, aka Operation Kid Brother. It was on MST3K. It featured the actual actors who played Moneypennu and M as, well, Secretary and Boss, and I believe it lead to a lawsuit by EON Productions.
Two “fun” facts:
re: German scientists named Braun – “braun” is German for “brown” and I’ll refer you to the GURPS Discworld bonus episode for the rest…
re: “Mercenary Man” sounding like low-rent Dire Straits – it was done by David Knopfler (a.k.a. “Mark’s Brother”)
The More You Know…
The Cubans were actually more involved in Africa than the Soviet Union was. Between 1975 and 1989 they sent over 60,000 combat troops and over half a million teachers, nurses, doctors, and engineers into Angola to help the nascent communist government against guerrilla movements that wanted a different kind of communism.
This goes double when they can go to Namibia, which borders Angola.
Oh hello there dumbing of age reader
Tugging at heartsrings with that sad ruth pfp