Movie Mastery – Judge Dredd (1995)
A pretty horrible take on the property but it’s still probably better than the first two times they tried to make a Punisher movie. Also, for the mythology nerds out […]
Category Archives: Movie Mastery
In Theaters Now – Assassin’s Creed
The Assassin’s Creed games are all about the epic struggle between two secret societies in a deadly struggle for the fate of mankind. The Assassin’s Creed movie is all about […]
Movie Mastery – Saving Christmas (2014)
Kirk Cameron takes some time off from his lucrative rap career to let everyone know what the holidays are really all about. Rampant, unbridled consumerism with a thin veneer of […]
In Theaters Now – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Now our review of the latest installment in the Harry Potter world which also ends up being Jef ranting about how much he hates magic in Harry Potter. It’s a […]
Movie Mastery – Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twlight (2008)
It’s Dungeon’s and Dragons but now it’s in cartoon form. No, not that terrible show from the 80’s. It’s the terrible movie from 2008. Be amazed as actual decent voice […]
Movie Mastery – Stealth (2005)
Three sassy, sexy Navy pilots that play by their own rules are tasked with hunting down an experimental jet powered by an AI that goes haywire and now it plays […]
Horrortoberfest Day 19 – Shin Godzilla (2016) (It’s a podcast)
Well, we tried, buit this is in no way a horror movie. It’s an interesting movie. It’s a cool movie. It definitely has a monster in it. But it’s not […]
Horrortoberfest Day 5 – The VVitch (2015) (It’s a podcast)
Hey, remember how much good press this movie received? People were all like “Oooh, it’s not found footage” “Oooh it isn’t connected to Joss Whedon!” Well, here it is on […]
In Theaters Now – Bridget Jones’s Baby
A movie with no stakes and no tension. Thrill as Bridget Jones much choose between a handsome, rich man who loves her or a different handsome, rich man that loves […]
Movie Mastery – Dragonfyre (2013)
When orcs begin to invade our world, it’s up to the Poor Man’s Mark Wahlberg to stop them. He will be helped by a Porn Star in Spock Ears, a […]
In Theaters Now – Suicide Squad (2016)
Turns out that once you get us talking about super hero related stuff we just will not shut up for any reason. This one is a super long Movie Mastery […]
Movie Mastery – Speed Racer (2008)
This movie is sincerely lacking in Tim Curry. I know what you’re thinking, which is that most movies are sincerely lacking in Tim Curry, but you feel it a lot […]
In Theaters Now – Ghostbusters (2016)
Find out who was right about this movie. Was it terrible like the angry white men on the internet that refused to see it said or was it good like […]
Movie Mastery – Howard the Duck (1986)
It was 1985, and with two years separating George Lucas from Return of the Jedi, it was a sure bet the world was his oyster, and he could make any […]
Movie Mastery – The Wizard (1989)
Well, we’ve covered two Dungeons and Dragons movies, Mazes and Monsters, and Wizards, so I guess at this point we’re just getting titles that even sort of remind people of […]
In Theatres Now – Warcraft (2016)
More work? Yes, my lords. We watched the Warcraft movie because it’s clearly winning the June In Theaters Now poll. It was a lazy day around here, and something need […]
In Theaters Now – Angry Birds (2016)
Well, it’s certainly in theaters right now. Did you know this is the highest-grossing (in terms of domestic box office) Sean Penn movie? Well, now you do. Take that information […]
Movie Mastery – Screamers (1995)
On a distant planet, some bullshit happens and then nobody pays attention to it anymore because oh holy hell! There are crazy robos attacking and they could be anyone but […]
Movie Mastery – Mazes & Monsters (1982)
Dare ye enter the magical realm of what filmmakers in the early 80s thought RPGs looked like? It’s a terrifying world of whiny yuppie children and blaming mental illness on […]
Movie Mastery – The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Old Mother Hubbard, lived in a cupboard, thrilled that she didn’t own a TV and was at no risk of ever even accidentally seeing any of this depressing, rapey, anti-funny […]
System Mastery 