Horrortoberfest Day 11 – Zombies vs Strippers (2012)

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Farther and farther down the shitty movie rabbit hole we go. As the title might have indicated, this movie features zombies and strippers. I’m pretty sure that’s about as far into it as the writers got before slapping themselves on the back and calling it a day. The girls at the Tough Titty, a tiki themed strip club in a bad part of town, are pretty much oblivious to the fact that a zombie apocalypse is happening outside their doors until it breaks the doors down. This movie is brought to us by notoriously awful production company Full Moon Features, the same people behind the Gingerdead Man series, so you know it’s going to be good (awful).

The opening of this movie almost made me have a modicum of hope for it. Spyder, the owner of the strip club, shows up to work and we are treated to a spot on hilarious parody of a morning zoo crew on the radio covering the zombie apocalypse, replete with sound effects and stupid nicknames. We then have the first shots of the zombies that are in the club. When Bambi comes out to dance, they moan, slack-jawed and pawing towards the stage. At this point I thought that the strip club patron to zombie comparison, while not genius, was at least putting some thought into it and made for some amusement. Unfortunately, damn near the rest of the movie is just set-up for girls being topless.

This is the first film in the T&A Horror week that has actually been serious about the nudity. Rather than being satisfied with just scantily clad women and the occasional topless shot, this movie appears to have a “nipples in every scene” clause. The opening credits start right out the gate with some bare breasts. It’s pretty much extremely softcore porn that also happens to have guys in shitty make-up show up and bite people. It feels super 70’s in the way it is shot and directed and I kept thinking it actually would have made it slightly better if they had done it up to be in that style completely like Black Dynamite.

Outside of the very opening scene, the movie has two redeeming things going for it. The first is a biker that shows up named Red Wings. It’s supposed to be funny because he is a biker but he’s well-spoken and religious. Instead it just makes it so he’s the one of the few interesting characters that interacts with the setting in a unique way. The only other character that does this is Vanilla, a black stripper that seemed to be ripped directly from an old Blaxploitation film. She does kung-fu, is sassy, and is surprisingly the only one to make it out unscathed.

I figured going into this that it would be terrible and it really was. Special mention goes out to the sound which was equally as bad as the writing. Also the zombies are slower and dumber than normal. Seriously the only time they seem to get anyone is when that person is being pants-on-head retarded. I think you can tell but I’m giving this a 1 out of 5.

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