Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 16 – Watch if You Dare

 

For the next in the horror anthology series, we have the rare one that eschews a framing mechanism for the short films and just plays them back-to-back. I have to imagine that these were all made separately beforehand and somebody just but them all together so they could sell it as a full length movie. Which it barely even is with a run time of barely an hour and then 10 minutes of credits. The different shorts all seem to have varying levels of quality all over in terms of acting, filming, audio, and effects. I’ll go ahead and break the four stories down and give the whole thing an overall score.

Stylist: The first short is about a hair stylist that drugs scalps her client and then wears their hair. That is literally the entire plot of the thing. It’s almost a shame that it’s so short and simple because this one probably has the best overall quality. The main actress does a great job at the end of being just slightly unhinged and remorseful of what she’s done.

Ink: A guy that is obsessed with tattoos starts killing people and cutting their tattooed skin off and then cutting his own skin off and sewing their skin on. This is the goriest of the 4 movies, as we see him peeling his own skin and the aftermath of sewing someone else’s skin to yourself which is mostly pus and blood. The idea is incredibly basic and the film quality isn’t amazing but it’s shot well and if you want something with a lot of blood and nastiness, then it certainly does a good job of it.

Foodies: A restaurant owner who is obsessed with food finally gets invited to the mysterious “Kitchen X”; a secret foodie gathering of the elite. If you guessed that it turns out that he is on the menu then you’ve seen any horror movie at all. He does at least manage to briefly escape and take out a few of the cannibals before getting shot. This one has the worst audio and film quality of the bunch and seems pretty amateur all around. Also one of the chefs is a terribly Japanese stereotype. Bleh.

Knob Goblins: Definitely the shortest of the short films. A mental patient is forced to return to the house where his little brother died by getting his dick ripped off by a titular knob goblin. He has to face that the knob goblin isn’t real but then the goblin comes out and bites his dick. Also the goblin looks like a paper-mache worm with a ball at the end that has some teeth in it. It looks absolutely ridiculous but then it’s a short called “Knob Goblins” so I’m not really sure what I was expecting.

Score: 2.5 out of 5. None of the shorts overstay their welcome but none of them are particularly good either. I can see why the only way to distribute them would be in an anthology

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