Movie Mastery/Horrortoberfest ’18 Day 4 – The Unborn (2009)

Taking a quick detour from the 80s horror week so that Jef can, once again, miss out on good movies and watch some crap that can’t even be saved by brief appearances from both Idris Elba and Gary Oldman.

One response to “Movie Mastery/Horrortoberfest ’18 Day 4 – The Unborn (2009)

  1. Based ok the podcast, it felt like the kind of movie where the first third is set up for something that then is completely forgotten (most charitably, the relationship between acts 1 and 3 were just not explained) and is instead a lot of CGI violence is heaved at the audience to distract them or make them feel the got enough gore for their $9.

    I don’t generally like *watching* horror movies, because I have low gore and low tension tolerances, but really it’s because I can’t not imagine lots of a particular ’80-2000s mode of movie as the reenactment of The Worst One-Shot Ever:

    Jerry (it’s SM tradition that Jerry is an asshole, right?): ok, you rolled well, so you outrun the [slow-moving] monster. What do you do?
    Anne: where are we?
    Jerry: you’re near a line of cabins, proooobably here on the map [points].
    Ben: That means we have a straight shot to the cars and the road out.
    Chris: Let’s go!
    Jerry: As you get to the parking lot and approach the cars, the monster explodes out of one and [roll roll roll] guts Ben’s character.
    All: how did it get there before us?
    Jerry: Fuck you, I’m the GM!

    I end up just wanting the “players” to punch Jerry in his smug face and leave. “No gaming is better than bad gaming, guys!”

    Anyway, I think the failure to impose rules on the monster and then 1)stick to them or 2) break them with an explanation (“it has wallaby DNA!”) just makes frustration my overarching reaction. I still like reading about you guys reviewing them, so there’s that.

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