If a game has a random chance for your character to professionally farm dirt, isn’t it fair to expect that game to have comprehensive rules for dirt-farming? Wouldn’t you want carefully curated charts indicated dirt yield by season, with random chances for dirt blight, or for plagues of dirt-devouring locusts? What about the rules for how to sell your dirt at market? It seems perfectly reasonable to expect a game with farmer characters to have a table indicating whether your dirt purchaser is a charlatan, a rube, or a common yokel! This week, we discuss the weird expectations of “realistic-style” heartbreakers, and then also a bunch of other total nonsense.