Horrortoberfest ’22 Day 25 – Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

Yet more Michael Myers on the way with the 5th installment that ends up being a direct sequel to 4 in the same way that 2 was a direct sequel to the first movie. Finding out that this movie ended up being so rushed that they started shooting without having a full script ends up making everything make so much more sense. There is a lot going on here where stuff in the movie just kind of happens without any reason to it and especially there is a character of a man in black that never gets revealed who it is as he just kind of wanders around the set. The whole things is nonsense.

Revenge opens up, much like Halloween 2 did, by reshowing the last few minutes of the previous film and then tacking on some bonus footage so we can see how Michael escaped the mine shaft he had fallen into. Then it cuts to Halloween Eve, one year later, and little Jamie is now in a children’s clinic because the previous film’s events has given her horrible nightmares (understandable), caused her to go mute (weird but ok), and given her a psychic connection to Michael (wait what). This connection is why she stabbed her mom at the end of the last movie and how now she can see through his eyes at random intervals. Michael spent the year passed out in some random dude’s shack but it’s Halloween so he wakes up, murders the dude that was taking care of him, and then heads on back to Haddonfield for a bit more murder. Oh and Dr. Loomis is back and crazier than ever. Like, screaming at a 9 year old to psychic up the location of a murderer crazy

The decisions that this movie makes are absolutely baffling at times. Jamie’s adoptive sister and previous final girl, Rachel, is back but gets almost immediately killed off. Then they essentially replace her with her friend Tina, including having Jamie be super concerned for her and crying for Tina to stay with her. It’s like they killed off Rachel, realized they were supposed to keep her in, and then just erased the name Rachel in the script and hastily wrote in Tina. This movie also makes it so that Tina has a boyfriend named Michael. Why? Well so she can mistake Myers for her boyfriend and squeeze out a few chuckles from the whole “golly they have the same name” gag. Which is not the worst humor in here. The worst is that there are two bumbling cop characters that have literal clown honks and slide whistles when they are on screen. It’s so jarring to go from that classic Halloween theme while The Shape stalks someone to Officers Dingus and Chucklefuck’s vaudeville routine.

Also, annoying, Rachel is not only done dirty by getting immediately killed off, robbing us of a main character we might have any emotional attachment to. Her character also gets changed from being the no nonsense, hardnose from the last movie into being the bubbly, pantsless type of character you would expect to get killed off. I also have to talk about Michael’s new mask. It changed in 4 and changes again for 5. The original is famously a William Shatner mask that they painted white and the mask in this movie, I shit you not, looks exactly like they painted a mask of Mark Zuckerberg. Speaking of masks, we get another scene in this film where a random teenager dresses up like Myers and fucks with the cops, as if that wasn’t the best way to get yourself shot. Thankfully(?), the cops they do it in front of are Dingus and Chucklefuck, so nothing happens.

While I don’t hate the psychic connection shit in this film, given the already heightened sense of Michael’s supernatural power I mentioned in the last review; I do hate how utterly disjointed and random this whole thing feels. Apparently the next movie explains the man in black and is even worse than this one. Can’t wait.

Score: 2 out of 5

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s