Horrortoberfest ’22 Day 4 – Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Time to look at the comedically optimistically titled “Final Chapter” of the series where they finally stopped fucking around and let Jason kill someone with an axe. Yes! I guess Paramount thought that the backlash against the flood of shitty slashers in the early 80’s meant that they should put an end to the franchise. Which is odd, considering backlash has nothing to do with the amount of money that people will throw at a studio to see more of a thing they like. This does at least serve as a final chapter to Part 2-4 since they all take place one right after the other, meaning this movie is Sunday the 14th. A whole ass trilogy of murder taking place over a weekend. Great work ethic from Jason.

The Final Chapter has a much more succinct “Previously On” section at the start, showing bits from the first 3 movies with voiceover but only taking about 3 minutes. We handwave the weird boat dream sequence ending from the last movie and pick up Saturday night as the cabin from part 3 is swarmed with cops and ambulances. They take Jason to the morgue but, whoopsy, he’s still alive and starts the murders off nice and early. We then discover that our horny meatbags for this film include Crispin Glover and next door to the sexy teens is Corey Feldman. This time Jason has a two-for since he’s got two houses next to each other. Just how big is Crystal Lake? This place has two full camps and at least 2 cabins that are all considered remote from everything else.

Not only does this film have some more recognizable names in the cast list but everybody on set seemed to dial that shit up to 11. Characters do not make small choices in how they react to things. It makes it so that even though most of the horny teens are completely forgettable, aside Glover and his shitty friend, they also give some great performances. Speaking of great performances, look up Crispin Glover’s dance scene in this movie if you can because it is exactly what you would expect him to look like trying to “dance like the kids these days”. Also worth noting that the horniness of the film has also been dialed up with way more nudity, including the previously missing male nudity. They’re really sending Jason off with a “bang” IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Trish, the literal girl next door to the horny teens, is probably my least favorite so far. She just stands there with a machete in her hand as a dude gets killed while yelling “He’s killing me” too many times. Then runs off once it’s too late to help and then goes back down again for NO REASON just to run off again. Thankfully, little brother Tommy (Feldman) is around and takes no shit from no one. The boy genius and make-up effect enthusiast decides to make himself look like swamp boy Jason from the end of Part 1 so he can mindfuck the killer like Ginny did in part 2. Tommy also has the distinction as the only character in 4 movies to, once he gets Jason down, actually make damn sure the dude is dead by hacking his ass up. Jason’s death is awesome looking, as are most of the kills here, due to the return of Tom Savini.

So far the Friday movies have just been getting better and better. This is the first of the series so far that I actually found myself kind of enjoying instead of farting around on my phone. Now that Jason got for reals super murdered, I’m hoping that the next movie gets zombie Jason up and teleporting.

Score: 3.5 out of 5

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