FATAL – System Mastery 89


Well folks, you made it happen.  Grats to all!  There’s no way this is worth any more of our time or yours than the extra-long episode we’ve thrown on here for you today (and the bonus content that’ll be over on the Patreon) so enjoy this pointless dimwitted horror show while it lasts.  Keep in mind there are a few exciting announcements at the end of today’s episode, so stay with us through the miasma.  If you want.  I mean, they’re going on twitter and facebook and stuff too any minute now.

17 responses to “FATAL – System Mastery 89

  1. Oh yeah, “Celtic prostitution” i.e what wounded and old warriors ended up doing if they could not longer go on expeditions. I remember reading something about LGBT elements in Viking culture and they had a name for old elder warriors that basically translated to “wife with a beard”. And it wasn’t taken as an insult, sexing some old guy ass was apparently The Thing.

    The thing about the penis size in FATAL is that it’s effectiveness would be limited by a person’s heart and cardiovascular system, even despite the enormity of their genitals. Supposedly even the most fit and aerobic dude would only be able to pump a 12-13″ penis fully erect, anything larger would be just a semi. There’s supposedly a 50-year old Mexican dude with a 18″+ wang but all I’ve seen are pictures of it hanging with a sock at the end, I’m not even sure if he can get it up.

    Also, that shit about boob size is totally specific to BYRON HALL’s fetishes. “C and D cups”, eff dat. Fantasy ladies need to be rocking at least a F cup. ;) Seriously though, it’s clear that Hall’s idea of beauty came from Playboy and before stuff like the ever-expanding alphabet soup of porntube shorthand like BBW, FBB, MILF, and PAWG used to signify popular fetishes.

    Also, didn’t the jerk jar also have a dated reference to Chucky from Child’s Play?

      • That sounds innovative, if nothing else. It’s probably too much math, whenever you’re doing math on a percentile roll, but I guess this is one of those cases where you don’t notice the cracks in the system because there’s so much worse stuff to distract you.

  2. If he didn’t include all the “footnotes” I could convince myself that he designed a world based around male superiority and heterocentrism, because thats what his fetishes are about, not because he believes that this is how the real world works. Which is something I wouldn’t necesarilly approve of, but tolerate.

    But no, it seems like he wants to make VERY certain that everyone knows this is what he TRULY believes.

  3. Thank you for doing this one! What a great surprise! Hope your brains weren’t too damaged from exposure to this thing.

  4. between this review and the quote below, i am very concerned

    “There is really only one thing F.A.T.A.L. accomplished in its short history, and that is to become the closest thing to a true Lovecraftian presence in the gaming industry. The mere knowledge of its existence weighs darkly upon one’s mind, and the world seems a bleaker, more horrifying place knowing that F.A.T.A.L.’s creators are out there, somewhere.”

  5. ..so a friend told me about this travesty so i came to find a review.. when i found him the review he added this… the FATAL them song..

  6. One important correction to the information in this review: You guys claim that Byron Hall is the worst human being to ever design an RPG but this is a common misconception. While Byron Hall is definitely in the top 3 worst people to design RPGs list, he was dethroned after that Norwegian black metal white supremacist wrote a fantasy heart-breaker while in prison for murdering his manager.

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