Movie Mastery – Cool as Ice (1991)
Like most other movies starring a celebrity that isn’t an actor, this is mostly just a vanity project that has no redeeming aspects. Plus, as a romantic(?) comedy(?), the main […]
Tag Archives: movie review
Movie Mastery – Descendants (2015)
Over a year ago I was at a Baskin-Robbins with Jef when I saw a cake theme in their book of birthday cake options that was apparently themed around Disney […]
Movie Mastery – Bee Movie (2007) But This Time it’s an Actual Review and Not an April Fool’s Joke
Barry B. Benson is no ordinary bee. He’s a shitty bee you immediately hate. Let’s follow along with his entitled crusade to become a lawyer and sue for all the […]
Movie Mastery – Bee Movie (2007) but Every Time We Say Bee the Review Goes Faster
Barry B. Benson is no ordinary bee. He’s a shitty bee you immediately hate. Let’s follow along with his entitled crusade to become a lawyer and sue for all the […]
Movie Mastery – Captain America (1979)
Since we were supposed to go see a superhero movie in the theaters this week but couldn’t because of global pandemic, we decided to finally sit down and watch Reb […]
Movie Mastery – Shock Treatment (1981)
The black hole of shitty musicals has yet to release us from its gravity well and has instead dragged special guest Claire down into the muck with us. This is […]
In Theaters Now – Sonic the Hedgehog
After a much-hated initial design, Sonic is back with a less horror inducing look and a strange obsession with preaching the inherent superiority of “small town ideals”. Also, I guess […]
Movie Mastery – Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
It’s the musical movie with a cult following that I can only assume likes it ironically. I literally cannot fathom why anyone would choose to watch this more than once.
In Theaters Now – Cats
You did it. You made us go see Cats. I hope you’re proud of yourselves. Now reality has lost all meaning and Jon can’t seem to stop introducing himself as […]
Movie Mastery – Winter’s Tale (2014)
What if stars are miracles left by people when they die and we wish on the love of those who have gone before with heaven’s wishing love miracle? What if […]
Movie Mastery – Fred Claus (2007)
Jef has been allowed to take over the movie decisions for the month and has decided it’s “A Very Vince Vaughn Christmas”. First up we find out out Santa’s deadbeat […]
In Theaters Now – Doctor Sleep
In a surprising twist, this sequel to a novel/movie that is 30 years old isn’t just some random garbage thrown together for a cash grab. But is it good? You’ll […]
Movie Mastery – Future Cops (1993)
When the past needs saving, you call the Future Cops! They’re…well, they’re just Street Fighter guys with a flair for the slapstick. This still might be a better Street Fighter […]
In Theaters Now – Countdown
October comes to a close and so too must Horrortoberfest but first one final treat from these tricksters. We said we weren’t doing an In Theaters episode this month but […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 30 – Brightburn
There have been many takes on “What if Superman was a bad guy?” over the years. With Ultraman leading the Crime Syndicate, communist dictator Superman, and Nazi Superman just […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 29 – The Visit
I’m not one of those people that jumped on the Shyamalan hate bandwagon. He’s definitely made some stinkers but there are a ton of directors that never got the […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 28 – A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
When this movie originally came out there was a lot of people that were vocally trashing it. For me, the original Nightmare on Elm Street movies were my gateway drug […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 26 – Happy Death Day 2U
After the first movie ended with the closed time loop and everything all worked out; I was wondering how exactly they were going to pull off doing a sequel. The […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 25 – Happy Death Day
Turns out what was originally just going to be Purge week is turning into an entire Blumhouse Productions week. This is another one that I have been meaning to see […]
Horrortoberfest 2019 – Day 24 – The First Purge
Now for the last of the films in the Purge franchise, at least so far. While each movie has tried to shift focus on to different aspects surrounding the yearly […]
System Mastery 